2013: Transcending imperfections and starting anew. Part 2.

Continuation of: 2013: Transcending imperfections and starting anew. Part 1.

So there I was.  A 30-something girl wishing she had her dad.  We had come a long way since my teenage days, and we currently live the closest to each other that we ever have since he left my childhood home. So I decided why not- there was no better time to move forward.  Might as well spend our first holiday together in over 15 years.  And with that, Harlan and I drove a 22 hour round trip to spend Christmas with my dad and his wife.

I was just hoping for ok.  No misunderstandings, no unintentionally hurtful remarks, no awkward silences.  But what I got was much more than ok.  I got a warm, fun, enjoyable holiday with a man I’m not sure if I’ve ever really known.  For the first time I wondered if my memories and past judgments of him were ever real or justified.  Was I holding him to an unreasonable standard?  Has he changed since we lost touch? Or, in the past, did I just refuse to see this jovial side with all our similarities because it was easier to blame him if I only acknowledged the imperfections?

2013: Transcending imperfections and starting anew. Part 1.

Relationships are not perfect.  How could they be, when they are products of inherently flawed beings?  Friends, coworkers, siblings, spouses, parent-child.  There will always be disagreements and opposing points of view.  There will be differences in priorities and unintentionally (or even purposefully) inflicted pain.  There may by competition, jealousy, and selfishness, or expectations that are out of reach.  There could be any number of shortcomings in a relationship, and it is up to us as individuals to decide whether we are capable and willing to transcend these imperfections, whether we can learn from them and become a wiser and better person, and whether we can do so while maintaining the relationship or only after we have let it go.